Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

At least Mexicana is being honest! Expedia's Mexican travel section, however, could probably use an update given what's going on the world: "Nature has a way of re-energizing itself. And now, so do you. Book your escape and lift your spirits in Cancun." Of course, if by "re-energizing itself," Expedia is referring to a Malthusian crisis, then the ad copy is probably just fine the way it is:More

The Zero-Star Hotel | You know the trend in recession chic has gone a little too far when one of the worst hotels imaginable reports that it has a waiting list. The first-ever "zero-star hotel," which doubles as both an actual hotel and art installation and is scheduled to open in Switzerland in June, is situated in an air raid shelter and features dormitory-style rooms, shared bathrooms, limited hot water, no heat, and no windows. But it already has a 1,000-person waiting list. It's also where AIG and Bank of America should probably plan to hold their next training seminar, but we have a feeling that isn't going to happen. [HotelChatter]

Put Down That Cheeseburger | United Airlines said today that it will require obese travelers to buy a second seat on flights that are especially full and in cases where other passengers complain about being cramped. And how do you know if you're too fat to fly? "Travelers must be able to put the arm rest between seats down to its normal position and buckle a seat belt with one extension belt." There you have it: When you start creeping into one extension belt territory, it's probably time to clip that Xenadrine ad out of the in-flight magazine. [Bloomberg]

Obama Family Vacation Revealed? | If you're planning to spend the summer on Martha's Vineyard, your vacation may turn out to be a bit less peaceful this year. WWD reports that the Obamas are thinking about visiting the isle for a little R&R this summer: "Secret Service agents have been spotted casing Martha's Vineyard for what is said to be a late-August two-week getaway. The First Family's destination is believed to be East Chop, the sleepier side of Oak Bluffs." So when you see helicopters in the sky, paparazzi hanging out on the beach, and the occasional motorcade streak through Edgartown, now you know why. [WWD]

Leona Helmsley Now Paying Other People's Taxes | Every hotel has a gimmick these days, but the one the Helmsley Hotel is offering up may be the most morbid. In honor of tax season—and the late Leona Helmsley's famous aversion to paying them—the hotel is offering "tax-free" rooms, a promotion that shaves roughly $50 off the $250 room rate. No word on whether the hotel has other Leona-inspired specials in the works, although given all the trouble that Trouble caused, a doggie-friendly deal seems like a natural follow-up. [HotelChatter] 

Sleazy Hotel Now Courting the Elderly | The dumpy Hotel Pennsylvania opposite Madison Square Garden is offering a very exciting special in honor of its 90th anniversary: rooms are going for just $11 a night! The catch is that you have to be able to prove you've been married to your spouse for at least 50 years. Perhaps your impoverished grandparents visiting from out-of-town would be interested? "Just make sure to load up on the hand sanitizer and perhaps invest in one of those personal sleep sacks from the SkyMall catalog," advises HotelChatter. [NewYorkology]

Another Reason to Love to NYC: We're Home to America's Worst Hotel | One place you may not want to stick your parents on their next trip to town: The Hotel Carter off Times Square, which TripAdvisor.com has named the dirtiest hotel in America for the third time in the last four years. What did the hotel do to earn the distinction? The leaking ceiling, stained sheets, and bedbugs didn't earn it any points. Then there was that time a couple of years ago when a housekeeper found a woman's corpse stuffed under a bed. But who cares about an occasional dead body when the rooms there are only $130 a night? [NYDN, TripAdvisor]

US Airways: 'The Check Is in the Mail' | Saying that it was "truly sorry," US Airways mailed out $5,000 checks over the weekend to each of the 150 passengers who were aboard Flight 1549 when it crashed into the Hudson last week. The checks are intended to compensate passengers for their luggage, which the airline now says may be "unrecoverable," but US Airways was also kind enough to reimbursed passengers for their ticket costs, too. Alas, no word yet on whether the airline plans to give passengers frequent flyer credit for the six-minute trip. [NYT]

Breaking: Lots of Rich People Gathered in Washington | You didn't think Steven Spielberg and and Oprah took the Acela to get to Washington, did you? Bloomberg reports that the inauguration should set a private jet record: As many as 600 private planes have touched down in D.C. in recent days, and the runway at Dulles had to be closed temporarily over the weekend to allow 100 of them to park. [Bloomberg, WSJ]

Spotted—Holiday Edition | Stephanie Seymour playing with her daughter on the beach in St. Barts ... Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn leaving the Ritz in Paris ...  Hilary Swank standing outside a ski lodge in Aspen ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon walking around Aspen in ski gear ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber packing up their SUV with son Alexander and baby Samuel ... Alicia Keys laying by the pool in Australia ... and Gwyneth Paltrow going out for the night with Stella McCartney and Madonna in London.

Just in case one list wasn't enough, we present to you a second roundup of what a bunch of celebrities (Robert De Niro, Amy Winehouse), socials (Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Amanda Hearst), art moguls (Larry Gagosian, Aby Rosen), and the occasional billionaire (Jonathan Tisch), and publicist (Nadine Johnson) have planned for the holidays. The full list—which is based on various press accounts, TV interviews, and the excellent research of blogs like Park Avenue Peerage—is after the jump. More

Joyeux Noël at the Noels | Haven't figured out where to spend the holidays? How does a five-bedroom villa in Mustique next door to Tommy Hilfiger's home sound? Walter and Monica Noel's Caribbean retreat is available for rent for $55,000 a week. With the Noels now thinking about canceling their holiday vacation plans, you might be able to take advantage of the sudden availability if you act quickly enough. Bonus: The home comes with broadband access so if someone else comes along and files suit against Noel in the coming days, you don't have to worry about missing the news! [Business Sheet]

Beware of the Passing Helicopter | Because what everyone on Wall Street is looking for right this moment is a more lavish and expensive way to travel, US Helicopter announced today that it hopes to resume flights between the Wall Street heliport and JFK and Newark beginning in January. But even now penniless, suicidal financiers may want to take note of the news: We're pretty sure jumping from the top of a skyscraper is painful enough without getting caught in the rotor blades of a passing helicopter. [NYT]

You may be planning to stay home this holiday season with a bottle of vodka and a fistful of Xanax and have little more to look forward than the soft glow of the Yule Log on WPIX, but needless to say other people have more exciting plans in store. A totally random (and occasionally jealousy-inducing) roundup of vacation destinations after the jump.More

Lorin Maazel's Inauguration Special | Still searching for a place to stay during the inauguration next month? New York Philharmonic director Lorin Maazel's country house in Virginia is available in exchange for a modest $50,000-a-night donation to his charitable foundation! Maazel's Castleton Farms has room for 40-50 guests and comes with indoor pool, bowling alley, "commercial-sized movie screen," Turkish steam room, and petting zoo. Unfortunately, one thing it doesn't offer is close proximity to Washington, which is still a 90-minute drive away. [Chateauville via Luxist]