Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

New York City has picked its latest big public art project. And it doesn't involve setting up a water show in the East River or wrapping up Central Park in brightly colored fabric. It's going to be distributing seven million Metrocards with the word "Optimism" printed on the backs. It's cooler than it sounds:

Composed in clean, bold, sans-serif letters, it floats in a sea of white just beneath the boilerplate fine print... At first glance, the word appears simple and unassuming, a non sequitur easily overlooked amid the blur of travel in the city.

So simple and unassuming, in fact, even the people who came up with the brilliant idea "acknowledge that many subway and bus riders may never see it."More

Your Commute Just Got Creepier | Here's some news you'll find disturbing (unless you have a really weird fetish, in which case you won't). It turns out you're more likely to be groped on the subway these days. Complaints of subway sexual abuse are up four percent this year, although arrests are down six percent, according to the NYPD. Manhattan is the worst borough, and the stations at Grand Central Terminal and 14th Street are supposedly the choicest stomping grounds for these miscreants, who are typically most active during the morning and evening rush hours since they love it when the subway cars are crowded. So keep your wits about you. Unless you fall into that other category, in which case you now know where to be and when. [NYP]

The Freedom Tower at Ground Zero has been in the works for years and years now—and it still won't be finished until 2018—but just so it isn't delayed by any errant workers who might slip off for ten minutes to go fetch a sandwich, the geniuses at the Port Authority have decided to install a Subway on-site. More

Your Subway-Related Stunt of the Day | The pranksters at Improv Everywhere have struck again: "For our latest mission, we installed a photography studio on a random subway car. We claimed that the MTA had hired us to take photos of every single person who rides the subway and that we'd be producing a yearbook at the end of the year. Most people were happy to pose for us, and the resulting photos show just how diverse New York subway riders can be." Bonus: They show just how gullible New Yorkers can be, too. [Improv Everywhere, previously]

Jackson Gets Denied | The MTA won't be renaming Brooklyn's Hoyt-Schermerhorn subway station after Michael Jackson. City Councilwoman Letitia James first proposed the idea a few weeks back, since the station is where Jackson filmed his "Bad" video in 1987. But the MTA has taken a pass—even though it recently sold off naming rights to another subway station to Barclays for $4 million. More

Another Pleasure-Seeker Caught In the Act | It looks like the subway masturbator who was arrested by the NYPD last week after a woman snapped his pic with her cell phone isn't the only one looking for kicks underground at the expense of innocent straphangers. Because there's a new report of another guy who did precisely the same thing—and just like last time, a woman unlucky enough to watch the action unfold managed to take his photo, which she's since turned over to the police. Hasn't it become abundantly clear by now that illicit subway masturbation really isn't viable any longer thanks to the advent of the camera phone? Guess we'll find out! [1010WINS via Gothamist, previously]

We're All Human | The guy who was seen masturbating on the subway last Friday—and who was arrested on public lewdness charges yesterday thanks to the woman who had the sense to snap pics of him with her cell phone—has a very long rap sheet, it turns out. But that might be because he's not very good at making up excuses. His explanation for the little subway incident last week: "That's me in the pictures, my private parts fell out... I looked down and it was out, it just popped out. I was trying to put it back." [NYDN]

Subway Line Winners and Losers | The cleanest subway line in NYC, per the annual survey by the Straphangers Campaign? That would be the No. 7 train, which came in first place and was tidy 84 percent of the time. The worst: The R, with just 25 percent of cars considered clean. Enjoy your commute. [NYT/City Room]

The End of the Metrocard | The MTA is making plans to get rid of the MetroCard. Outgoing MTA chief Elliot Sander—today is his last day on the job—says that an E-ZPass-like system will eventually be introduced, so you don't have to wait on lines or actually lift your wrist or anything. Instead, "sensors on turnstiles or near bus entrances would detect a card or key-fob-like device and automatically deduct the fare from bank or credit accounts." The system won't be in place in 2011, though, so you have plenty of time to pick up a Metrocard bikes and dresses before they become collectors' items. [NYP]

Subway Ridership Falls, Fares May Go Up | Some more good news has emerged from the otherwise bleak economy. The MTA reports that subway ridership was down for the third consecutive month in March as the city's unemployment rate continued to rise and fewer people had to use the subway to commute to work. This means finding a seat on the 4 train during rush hour has never been easier. Unfortunately, it also means the MTA is now predicting another budget shortfall, which means the agency could be forced to raise fares again. You never can win, can you? [NYP]

A Rare Bit of Good News From the MTA | The big subway and bus fare increase won't be so big, after all. The board of the MTA voted today to rescind the package of fare increases and service reductions adopted in March. When fares go up, which will happen on June 28, you'll be paying $2.25 to take advantage of New York's sterling public transportation system, instead of $2.50. [NYT]

Catching Up With Dr. Z | New York's most famous subway dermatologist, Dr. Jonathan Zizmor, took some time to chat with Gothamist today. And he was asked the question that has undoubtedly been on your mind for years now: Why does the photo of him make it seem as if he hasn't aged a day over the past quarter-century? Zizmor says he hasn't updated the photo in 25 years because "it's hard to do transparency, the color always comes out wrong." We have no idea what that means either, but points to Billy Parker for giving it a shot. [Gothamist]

Joe Biden warned the public to avoid "confined spaces" like the subway when he appeared on the Today show this morning. So what did our fearless leader, Michael Rubens Bloomberg, do? He took the subway and went as far as to ask reporters to film him arriving at City Hall by train. Message communicated! But to make his arrival even more special, he also made sure he had a crisp copy of El Diario tucked under his arm, so not only did he reassure us all that we'll be fine amid the swine flu epidemic, he also demonstrated that he's still working on his Spanish. Multitasking in action, clearly.

The MTA Means Business | Were you aware that if you bend your Metrocard just the right way, you can use it twice but you'll only be charged for one ride? This might strike you as rather useful information what with the economy the way it is and fares about to go up. But you probably should just shell out the $2 and not bother taking any chances. A man who tampered with his Metrocard, and who was later convicted of felony forgery, learned today that he'll be spending the next two years in prison. [NYP]

Fare Increase, Service Cuts Coming Soon | The MTA has revealed the service cuts that will take place this summer unless someone does something about the agency's $1.2 billion budget gap. Oh, and the new fare of $2.50 takes effect May 31, just in case you want to start saving your quarters now. [NYDN]