Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

Standard Hotel: Too Sexy for Its Own Good, Perhaps | All that unbridled sexual energy at the Standard has a downside, it seems. A guest staying at the hotel was arrested on Saturday after he forced himself on a maid and has since been charged with attempted rape, sexual abuse and unlawful imprisonment. Needless to say, when the hotel was informing guests that the Standard was "all about sex all the time" and "you're our star," this wasn't quite what they had in mind. [NYP]

If you've ever been tempted to get it on in an elevator—or you just use your trips up and down to tend to matters of personal hygiene—keep in mind that if there's a camera in the elevator (and there probably is), your doorman is watching. And he's taking notes. According to an employee of a virtual doorman company that monitors the goings-on at 100 co-ops and condos in the city, men and women do very different things when they step into an elevator on their own:More

Here's a question you've undoubtedly wrestled with for ages now: If you sleep with your doorman or super and the rest of the building finds out about it, will he end up losing his job? "I've had several instances where building staff were involved with residents and in each instance the building employee was terminated," says a real estate lawyer. The good news is that he stands to make a decent amount of money if—and when—he threatens to slap the co-op with an embarrassing wrongful termination lawsuit, especially "if it's a Park Avenue building and the super has had sex with the wife of the board president." [BrickUnderground via Curbed]

You Don't Say! | "A new study found that women who drink one or two glasses of wine a day have better sex than those who don't drink at all." [NYDN]

It Isn't Easy Being a Testosterone-Addled Investment Banker | You know who is really suffering these days? The investment bankers and corporate lawyers who had been accustomed to getting their action at the office during the boom years, but who have been forced to endure a dramatic downturn in workplace sex now that going to work every day is, well, more work-like: More

When people think "recession," some things that come to mind may be plummeting stocks and the long, slow slide into crippling depression. But self-loathing and sales of canned tuna aren't the only things on the rise.  Unable to spend money on bars, restaurants and trips to the movies, people are opting for a cheaper form of entertainment: anxiety-fueled sex! More

If your husband or boyfriend has to work late tonight, or has plans with a friend, or suddenly needs to attend to a sick relative, we hope you realize that what he's really doing is cheating on you—or so say florists and restaurateurs for whom business is just as brisk on February the 13th as the 14th, since men placate their mistresses by seeing them the night before Valentine's Day. "I guess probably in 10 years Hallmark will make a card for it," as the cynical manager of DUMBO's River Cafe puts it. More

Efforts At Enhancement Fall Short | With Valentine's Day almost upon us, you'll be seeing countless news stories about love, dating, and all the delightful trappings of the chocolate and flower industries' annual celebration of romance. Unfortunately, Slate had to come along and sully this sacred holiday with a look at, of all things, "male enhancement" products. We'll protect your delicate sensibilities from too many of the sordid details, but suffice it to say the reporter, following extensive research, isn't prepared to endorse either enlargement pills, weights, pumps, or surgical augmentation. Not that he actually tries any of these out himself, of course—or if he does, he keeps understandably quiet about it. [Slate]

Nicolas Sarkozy's Sex Life? Never Better! | File this under things you didn't wake up this morning needing to know. Julie Imperiali, Nicolas Sarkozy's personal trainer, says she was hired by Carla Bruni last year to help the French president shed weight and improve his sexual stamina. The workout plan focuses "on the perinea muscles at the bottom of the pelvis," a regimen that addresses "problems of premature ejaculation." Glad to hear Sarkozy is getting the therapy needed to keep Carla a very happy first lady. And at least Michelle now knows who to contact if Barack's new job starts interferring with his performance in the White House's master bedroom. [NYP]

Attention Single Women! | You may want to think twice before you go home with the guy who takes you out for dinner tonight. A group of researchers say their new "mathematical model" proves that "more reliable men" are willing to wait longer before having sex for the first time. [Telegraph]

Rocco DiSpirito: Perfect in Every Way | Do you know who Whitney Casey is? She's an author, occasional TV presence, and a "relationship expert" for Match.com, but that's not the interesting part. It's what she had to say about Rocco DiSpirito on Howard Stern's satellite radio show that might make you run to the toilet. Casey says the unemployed chef provided her with the best sex she's ever had, and he has an absolutely "perfect" penis that resembles "a Viagra version of the statue of David." Your day is complete! [DBTH]

The Silver Lining: At Least You're Getting Laid | Ignore all the talk of layoffs and focus on the positive: According to "biorhythm researchers" and condom manufacturers, more people are having sex right now than at any other point in the year. It may be due to the cold weather, or it may have something to do with the tendency to get a little wild during the holidays before New Year resolutions (like, say, not having risky sex with strangers) kick in. Whatever it is, enjoy yourself before the Internet or too much recession talk gets in the way! [AMNY]