Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick may seem really happy and content with life, but it's just a carefully-constructed façade that is now crumbling to pieces because Broderick can't stop himself from cheating. Or at least that's what the Star is claiming after it caught sight of SJP socializing with a real estate broker, something you wouldn't even think of doing unless you were planning to leave your husband and move out on your own, right? [Star]
• Peter Cook has filed charges against Christie Brinkley for refusing to hand over son Jack's passport so the two can go on a school trip to Egypt. [P6, OK!]
• Disgraced Lehman CEO Dick Fuld and his wife Kathy needed help using JetBlue's check-in kiosk in Palm Beach, poor things. [P6]
• Paris Hilton says she's not a slut because she's only had sex with "a couple of men," which, by that standard, means you're still a virgin. [The Sun]More

♦  A "crazed" Madonna fan stormed the set of Guy Ritchie's new movie this weekend and threatened to kill him with a 12-inch knife before the 16-year-old was arrested. [Mirror, Daily Star]
♦  Is Ashley Olsen planning to marry boyfriend Justin Bartha in a secret wedding on the French Riviera? That's what the National Enquirer claims! Also: She supposedly wants Karl Lagerfeld to design her dress. [Daily Express]
♦  Joaquin Phoenix was acting "odd" and wobbly at an event in San Francisco last week, and now his friends are worried he's back to drinking and doing drugs. [P6]
♦  Beth Ostrosky and Ryan Reynolds both finished the NYC Marathon yesterday, along with about 35,000 other people. [NYDN] More

♦  Amy Poehler and husband Will Arnett became parents for the first time on Saturday when Amy gave birth to a son, Archie. [Us]
♦  Madonna is in "meltdown mode," and asked her assistant to gather all the items she received from Guy Ritchie so she can "bury them." Guy, meanwhile, has reportedly said the couple's marriage began to disintegrate when she started planning their sex life around her workout schedule. [MSNBC, Daily Mail]
♦  Jennifer Hudson is offering a $100,000 reward for the return of her nephew, who went missing on Friday when her mother and brother were fatally shot. [People, Access Hollywood]
♦  Lindsay Lohan doesn't want people thinking she's a lesbian just because she's dating a girl. [NYDN]
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♦  The Madonna-Guy Ritchie messiness continues: The biological father of Madonna's adopted son says he might be better off in his native country of Malawi, Ritchie supposedly told friends that having sex with Madge was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," Madonna has described Ritchie as a gold-digger, and the two sides aren't even close to finalizing a divorce settlement, which means this is going to continue for a long, long time. [NYDN, Mirror, NYP, SS]
♦  Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen may get married at Tavern on the Green, of all places. [P6]
♦  Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan got into a little fight aboard the Acela. [P6] More

♦  Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce wasn't a huge revelation after months of rumors. But now it turns out the couple hadn't even been on speaking terms for months, and had been communicating through their assistants. Also: Guy may lose custody of his sons if Madonna decides to leave London and settle in NYC full-time. [Us, People]
♦  The namecalling has started: Madonna called Guy "emotionally retarded" at her Boston concert on Wednesday night, and now Guy's father is calling Madonna "beastly." [The Sun, Telegraph]
♦  Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi aren't happy about the leak of their sex tape. Who's to blame? Peter is blaming Diana. Diana, meanwhile, says it couldn't have been her since she didn't even know he was taping them having sex in his Southampton office. [P6, ET]
♦  Did Tea Leoni have a fling with Billy Bob Thorton while she was still with David Duchovny? [Extra, E!]
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♦  Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have officially split, the focus is now on her relationship with Alex Rodriguez: Some say he knew that the separation announcement was coming, which is why he's been "lying low" in a five-star Beverly Hills hotel for the past few days. [Us, NYP, E!]
♦  How's Guy doing? Don't worry about him: He could walk away with as much as $250 mil. in a settlement since he and Madonna never had a prenup. [NYP]
♦  A sex tape starring Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi may be out there, although Cook's lawyers are still saying he has "no knowledge" it exists. [P6]
♦  David Duchovny and Tea Leoni have officially split up. We're as shocked as you are [E!]
♦  Raffaello Follieri didn't just swindle adults. He also tricked a 15-year-old girl by promising to get her Anne Hathaway's autograph and then never coming though. Now she's suing him. [NYDN]More

♦  Are Madonna and Guy Ritchie really divorcing? It might be another rumor or really a Sun exclusive, but the British tabloid says they plan to announce the split as soon as today. [The Sun]
♦  Christie Brinkley is suing Peter Cook for violating the couple's confidentiality agreement by talking about their relationship on 20/20. [NYP]
♦  The "mystery illness" that's caused Janet Jackson to cancel tour dates is supposedly a vestibular migraine, which "induces the sensation of vertigo." The good news is that now she's apparently cured. [ET]
♦  Raffaello Follieri's lawyers yesterday asked a judge to "go easy" on Raffaello in exchange for his quick return to Italy where he'll "never be heard from again." Ha! [NYDN]
♦  The 40-year-old CEO of a company called Future Tech Enterprise on Long Island is actually paying $20,000 to box Michael Lohan. And Stephen Baldwin is now planning to serve as the match judge. [Newsday via NYO]
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Peter Cook turned up on 20/20 last Friday to explain why he's not the "scumbag pervert that he's been painted to be," and explain why his marriage to Christie Brinkley devolved into a mess of epic proportions last summer. Cook says the dispute had nothing to do with money, he only cheated on her because he was "seeking a connection he wasn't getting at home," and that he's not really addicted to porn. Also: He has a brand new girlfriend, Suzanne Shaw, who his kids get along fantastically well with. We're sure. A clip of the encounter is to your left.

♦  Angelina Jolie can be seen breastfeeding on the cover of the upcoming issue of W. Brad Pitt is the one who took the pics. He's also the one who convinced Angie to have kids of her own, she says. [NYDN, People]
♦  A judge denied Christie Brinkley's request for a temporary restraining order that would bar Peter Cook for seeing their kids this weekend. He did rule that Cook cannot "expose" them to his 20/20 interview. [People]
♦  Sarah Palin is set to appear on SNL on October 25th. [Cindy Adams]More

♦  Michael Phelps is telling people he's single even though he's actually dating Miss California runner-up Nicole Johnson. [R&M]
♦  Peter Cook's interview with Barbara Walters airs on Friday, but Christie Brinkley's lawyers now say he violated a confidentiality agreement by speaking with the network. [OK!, ABC News]
♦  Hugh Hefner says his relationship with Holly Madison began to crumble six months ago when they found out his sperm count was too low to father any kids. Also, he's already auditioning new girlfriends. [E!]
♦  Anna Wintour's latest celebrity obsession? Gerard Butler. [P6]More

♦  In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦  Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're "taking it slow." [People]
♦  Angelina Jolie got a tummy tuck, or at least that's what the Star says. [Star]
♦  Amy Winehouse's spokesperson says the singer is not suicidal. In fact, the rep says, "she's fine." Of course she is. [People]
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Babs Avoids the M-Word | The Christie Brinkley-Peter Cook divorce case came up today on The View today, but Barbara Walters had a hard time describing what it was Peter Cook was exactly doing on the internet that got him in trouble. Walters' attempts to avoid the word "masturbate" below.More

• Jose Canseco says Madonna once tried to marry him and have his baby, so she could give daughter Lourdes a Cuban sibling with great genes. He joins Dennis Rodman on the would-be Madonna baby-daddy list. [NYDN]
• Alex Rodriguez will visit with his daughters, Natasha and Ella, in Toronto today. It will be the first time he's seen them since he and Cynthia split. [NYDN]
• Cynthia Rodriguez has gotten her hands on text messages between Madonna and A-Rod. Now she's threatening to release them. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie may have moved up her scheduled C-section to Tuesday because she's tired of being pregnant and fed up with hospital food. [National Enquirer]
• Porschla Coleman might have broken up with Russell Simmons because he was too controlling and he wouldn't let her hang out with her friends. Or Russell may have broken up with Porschla because she didn't get along with his kids. [Rush & Molloy]

Nobody Wins With Divorce (Except Christie) | Just five days into the courtroom drama and the Christie Brinkley-Peter Cook divorce case is already over! As the tabloids mourn what could have been a perfect story for the doldrums of August, Christie can take heart in the fact she'll be getting sole custody of the kids and full ownership of the couple's homes. (She's still selling the Bridgehampton the couple once occupied.) She's also keeping their boat, Sweet Freedom. As for Peter? He gets $2.1 million, which should just about cover his legal fees. [NYP]

• After weeks of battling in court, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook negotiated a "surprise" settlement last night, which they announced at 6 AM this morning. Many of the details are still fuzzy—they'll explain more when they get to court this morning—but custody will likely stay as is, and Christie will likely retain ownership of most of the couple's properties. [NYP]
• East Hampton cops caught Arden Wohl scrawling "Ralphy Lip-shits" in lipstick on the front of Ralph Lauren's store Saturday night. Now she's been charged and is expected to appear in court in August. [Page Six]
• Cynthia Rodriguez says she stills loves Alex, and partially filed for divorce to prove to him that she's not weak. Also, she says she's not out to damage her husband in the press! [Cindy]
• Madonna might show up at a charity party A-Rod's throwing at the 40/40 club next Monday. [ET]
• Madonna's brother—you know, the one who is shopping a tawdry tell-all about his sis—is telling people that she has a huge ego. [NYP]