Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

• This is a bizarre one: Two police chiefs in Ohio are now under investigation for allegedly breaking into the home of the surrogate mom hired by Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick in an effort to dig up dirt on the woman, which they then planned to sell to the tabloids or use to blackmail the couple. [Us, E!, NYDN]
• Madonna is gearing up for the arrival of baby Mercy. Gwynnie is helping to decorate and Mercy's room will supposedly feature "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." [Sun]
• It looks like Lindsay Lohan is off the hook for that $400,000 jewel heist the other day. So at least there's one thing looking up for her. [NYDN] More

• Here's a rather unlikely rumor but an amusing one all the same: Prince William is supposedly thinking of moving to America with his girlfriend, Kate Middleton, and the two have been spotted house-hunting in Malibu. Frankly, if they were going to move to America—and they're probably not—we see them as more of a New York couple. And NYC could use a prince roaming around, couldn't it? Let's all cross our fingers and hope for the best. [E!] 
• Countess (and not-so-real housewife) LuAnn de Lesseps was spotted hanging out with young men and doing tequila shots at a club in the Hamptons last weekend. And the earth continues to rotate on its own axis, too. [P6]
• That was quick. Just a couple of weeks after Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson supposedly reunited, the couple appears to have split up again—and it's all Nicole Richie's fault, too. Or maybe they never got back together at all? Feel free to take your pick. [E!, People, AH]More

• Tyra Banks took the stand to testify against accused stalker Brady Green yesterday and explained how she's had to hire a bodyguard and driver as a result of the incident. She also said she's no longer jogging outside and has been forced to hire a personal trainer, but we're pretty sure she had one of those long before Green came along. [NYDN, NYP]
• After 13 years of marriage, Sean Penn has filed for legal separation from wife Robin, news that may not come as a huge surprise given his long list of rumored paramours, including Petra Nemcova, Helena Christensen, Ines Misan, Naomi Campbell and Natalie Portman. [P6, People, Extra]
• Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts' son, Sasha, was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday night for respiratory issues. [People]
• Madonna supposedly wants a summer house in the Hamptons. But she can't find a place willing to put up with her horse-related demands. [P6]
• Meanwhile, baby Mercy's 24-year-old father is demanding full custody of his daughter, since Madonna lacks "good morals." [NYP]More

• Lindsay Lohan is "drowning her sorrows" over Sam Ronson in a "sea of men," including 90210's Kellan Lutz and British paparazzo Chris Jepson. She's also going out all the time again, and hit up six clubs in one evening last week. But that's probably just because she's naturally very energetic. [P6]
• In related news, LiLo tells E! that she isn't in talks to join a topless show in Las Vegas, but she'd be willing to dabble in the burlesque world for the right price. [OK!]
• Uma Thurman's rep says she and Arpad Busson did not get married in the Bahamas last weekend, although it's rumored the couple is planning a "low-key" wedding this Saturday instead. [E!, Sun]
• Daphne Guinness was supposedly overheard telling a friend that she and Andre Balazs aren't "seeing each other seriously," since she's about to move in with French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy. [P6]More

Happy Birthday | Mia Farrow turns 64 today. Mena Suvari is turning 30. Amber Valletta is 35. Author Alice Walker is 65. Nobel Prize-winning author J.M. Coetzee is turning 69. Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph E. Stiglitz is turning 66. Physicist/author Brian Greene is 46. Real estate exec Frederick Peters is 57. Virginia Senator Jim Webb is 63. Actress Judith Light is 60. Chinese actress (and Vivi Nevo's girlfriend) Ziyi Zhang is turning 30. And Joe Pesci is celebrating his 66th birthday today.

• Jeremy Piven's latest conquest? A 23-year-old model/bottle waitress at Mansion named Ashley Chontos, who was the first to respond to Piven's late-night text appeal ("Come to my room—whoever responds first gets me for the night") and who, you'll be happy to hear, is standing by her man, even though he's in Bangkok so he can "recover" from "mercury poisoning." [NYDN]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are supposedly divorcing in a few weeks, or at least that's what the Daily News says. For the time being, though, they seem to be enjoying themselves in Puerto Rico. [E!]
• Mia Farrow's daughter's death may have been been AIDS-related. [NYP]
• Mariah Carey is supposedly in talks to make a Broadway musical about her life and hopes Leona Lewis, Vanessa Hudgens, or Eva Longoria will take on the lead role. [Telegraph] More

• People won the bidding war for photos of Bristol Palin's baby, Tripp, and could be paying as much as $300,000 as part of the deal. [MSNBC] 
• Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Lark died on Christmas Day. [NYDN]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent Christmas on separate coasts, which obviously means their relationship is on the rocks. [Daily Mail]
• According to the always-reliable National Enquirer, Regis Philbin is refusing to help out his son Daniel financially, even though he's a double amputee and ekes out a living selling crafts. [NE]
• Disgraced billionaire Henry Samueli is dumping his jet to raise cash. [P6]
• The economic meltdown doesn't seem to be affecting the champagne-swilling partygoers on St. Barts this season, you'll be relieved to hear. [P6]More

It really is about time psychologists gave a name to whatever personality disorder Angelina Jolie suffers from, because "narcissistic control freak with a Mother Teresa complex" (see also: Princess Diana, Mia Farrow) is a bit of a mouthful. Anyway, Angie must have pissed off someone at the Times, because today the paper does a mild hatchet job on her, raking over various details that we already knew: She micro-manages all aspects of her tabloid interviews especially her coverage in People; she supposedly doesn't employ a publicist or agent; she and Brad make a big song and dance about giving the proceeds of their media deals to charity, but only a small slice seems to reach the beneficiaries; and, most importantly, when that bitch Jennifer Aniston is winning the hearts and minds of US Weekly readers, all Ang has to is don a headscarf, be photographed helping the tragedy-stricken in a third world country, and she's back in the game. More