Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]More

• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail.  [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]More

• Lindsay Lohan's first collection as Emmanuel Ungaro's "creative director" was unveiled at Paris Fashion Week yesterday. And let's just say the reviews weren't overwhelmingly positive. Described as "cheesy," "dated," and "truly hideous," more than a few critics suggested she get back to acting. And the show ended with Lohan in tears, which probably isn't the most auspicious sign. [MSNBC, WWD, WSJ, Daily Mail]
• Chris Noth is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Tara Wilson. [People]
• In other relationship news, rumor has it Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are planning to get married, too. [NYDN]
• The David Letterman sex-with-staffers scandal was the butt of plenty of jokes on The Jay Leno Show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and this weekend's SNL, not surprisingly. (Seth Meyers called Robert "Joe" Halderman's alleged $2 million extortion attempt a "stupid human trick.") Meanwhile, a second woman, Holly Hester, was identified as another one of the late night host's hook-ups and the tabloids reported Letterman keeps a "bachelor pad atop the Ed Sullivan Theater," although it might just be an office with a fold-out couch. [Us, NYDN, TMZ] More

• Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour has been canceled. Was it because of Kanye's little incident at the VMAs? Because tickets weren't selling? No one's saying, although the name of the tour was pretty prophetic, wasn't it? [TMZ, NYDN]
• Kate Hudson isn't a huge hit with Yankee players' wives and girlfriends: "Kate acts like she and Alex [Rodriguez] are married, and no one gets it," said a source. "It strikes them as odd, and it seems suspicious." [MSNBC]
• Lauren Conrad has admitted she can't act. Really. "I think my acting is offensive!" she says. "I'm an awful actor, I'm not super comfortable with it." This it all very true, of course. But points for honesty! [People]
• In a new series of ads for her line of leggings, 6126, Lindsay Lohan can be seen modeling with a stripper pole. Naturally. [NYDN, Daily Mail]More

• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married in a quiet ceremony in France a few weeks ago. Sneaky! [Life & Style]
• Emmy Rossum's husband, music exec Justin Siegel, has filed for divorce. (Their 2008 secret marriage was only discovered when the couple was reported to have split up in August.) Naturally, Siegel is asking Rossum to pay for the divorce and he's seeking spousal support, too. [TMZ, Us]
• Yet another book is coming out alleging that Bill Clinton did inappropriate things. In her new book Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House, Stacy Parker Aab claims Clinton groped her in a hotel room in 2000 and his pal Vernon Jordan tried to kiss her twice. Good thing the poor girl got this all off her cheat a mere nine years after the fact. [NYDN]More

• The Kardashian girls continue to rake it in. Khloe Kardashian tied the knot with LA Laker Lamar Odom last night at a ceremony and reception was paid for by E!. (The event will be featured on an upcoming episode of E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians.) She may collect $250,000 more by selling photos of the nuptials. [People, TMZ, P6]
• After spending three decades as a fugitive on charges he raped a 13-year-old in 1978, famed director Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday while on his way to attend the Zurich Film Festival. [NYDN, ABC]
• One of Saturday Night Live's brand new cast members, Jenny Slate, dropped an F-bomb on the show. [YouTube, NYDN]More

• Just as Jude Law is getting ready to play Hamlet on Broadway next month, his most recent baby mama, model Samantha Burke, has her lawyers offering up an exclusive interview and pics of their soon-to-be-born love child. Ah, there's nothing like milking a little publicity. [P6]
• Madonna bailed on Marc Jacobs' after-party at Hiro on Monday eve despite attending his show. Not to worry: Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, and Rachel Zoe were all there, so there were plenty of people to stir up trouble. [NYDN]
• It looks like LiLo has made her 15-year-old sister, Ali, her new partner-in-crime when she goes out to party at night. We have a feeling this isn't going to end well. [MSNBC]
• Michelle Williams opens up about Heath Ledger's death in Vogue's October issue: "After the first year, the pain is less intense; it's less immediate... But every time I really miss him and wonder where he's gone, I just look at [Matilda]," she tells the magazine. [Vogue]More

• So how did Jay Leno's new show do? He hit it out of the park ratings-wise, roping in an estimated 18 million viewers. The reviews were all pretty lousy, though, so don't be surprised if it's all downhill from here. [AdAge, LAT, THR]
• The sale of BusinessWeek: Bruce Wasserstein has dropped out as a potential acquirer of the struggling mag. And it's cutting 20% of its staff. [BW, NYT]
• ABC News has apologized to the White House for Nightline anchor Terry Moran's tweet about Obama calling Kanye West a "jackass." [LAT]
• Speaking of the White House, Barack Obama will be David Letterman's guest on Monday night; it's the first time a sitting president has done the show. [NYT]
• Oprah's season premiere scored big thanks to Whitney Houston. [Wrap]
• The House of Harvey has sustained another blow: Harvey Weinstein's 70 percent stake in the home-video distributor Genius Products, once worth as much as $400 million, is now pretty much worthless. [NYP]
• Speaking of the film mogul, The Weinstein Co. picked up the rights to A Single Man, designer Tom Ford's debut film, at the Toronto Film Festival. [THR] More

• Even President Obama has acknowledged (unofficially) that Kanye West's microphone-snatching episode at the VMAs made Kanye a "jackass." Lucky for Jay Leno—and his ratings—Kanye apologized (again) on the comedian's primetime debut last night. "It was rude, period... I'm just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else's hurt," West said. [NYDN, People, Us]
• Topper Mortimer is hooking up with Vogue editor Valerie Boster. (It's about time the dude moved on.) Meanwhile, his ex, Tinsley, is having issues with her new reality show. Producers are trying to drum up other socialites to make appearances since she's not "dynamic enough on her own." [P6]
• Jeremy Piven won't be hugging it out with the Public Theater any time soon. His lawyers have served the venue with a cease and desist over its play, "The Piven Monologues," which details his fishy bailout from "Speed the Plow." [P6]
• Patrick Swayze has died after a 20-month battle with pancreatic cancer. Stars have been paying tribute to the Dirty Dancing star via Twitter, and the old-fashioned way, in released statements. [NYDN, People, Us, Star]More

• Poor Mischa Barton hasn't been having much fun since she arrived in NYC a few weeks ago. She says she's been "ordered to stay away from booze, boys and bad behavior following her brief hospitalization this summer." She's been allowed one vice, though: "All I can do is smoke cigarettes," she says. [P6]
• Chace Crawford and Bar Refaeli were spotted getting cozy on Friday night at 1Oak. [NYDN]
• Ashley Dupre has a new single out. She also tells the Post in an "exclusive interview and fashion shoot" that she wants to get married, have "at least two children," and be happy forever after. [NYP]
• As you've undoubtedly seen/heard by now, Kanye West stormed the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards to interrupt Taylor Swift as she was accepting her award for Best Female Video. [NYDN, People, NYP]More

Spotted | Adrian Grenier walking in the West Village, laptop amnd coffee in hand ... Courtney Love getting out of a car in SoHo ... Diddy walking down Broadway ... Geraldo Rivera carrying his dry cleaning across the street ... Sienna Miller walking in SoHo ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her townhouse in the Village ... Kanye West walking with Amber Rose in SoHo ... Jodie Foster hailing a cab ... Renee Zellweger leaving ABC studios in Midtown ... Agyness Deyn walking in SoHo ... Jessica Biel getting in an SUV ... Julia Roberts walking downtown ... Melanie Brown and husband Stephen Belafonte shopping in SoHo ... America Ferrera filming scenes for Ugly Betty ... and Lindsay Lohan standing outside the Waverly Inn with sister Ali and a friend.

• Kate Moss took notice of those photos of her in St. Tropez last month looking a little worse for the wear. She's supposedly changing up her lifestyle in an effort to "look 10 years younger," and she'll be eating healthier food, drinking less alcohol, and smoking fewer cigarettes from now on. [DM]
• Vogue editrix Anna Wintour was "advised" to leave her trademark sunglasses at home when she turns up as a guest on Dave Letterman's show next week. It was advice she didn't much appreciate, however. [P6]
• Gayle King demoted? Oprah says Jay-Z is her "new best friend." [People]
• Mariah Carey's new album hasn't been beset with problems. The decision to push back the release date, so it's one day too late to qualify for the Grammys? That's because she's fighting back against the system, don't you see? [NYDN] More

• Cintra Wilson is not impressed with the NYC's very first JCPenney: "Why would this perennially square department store bother to reanimate itself in Manhattan—in the sleekest, scariest fashion city in America—during a hair-raising economic downturn, without taking the opportunity to vigorously rebrand itself?" Making matters worse, she says even the mannequins are obese: "It's like a headless wax museum devoted entirely to the cast of Roseanne." [NYT]
• Contrary to recent rumors, Kanye West is not interning at the Gap. [FWD]
• It looks like Escada is the latest fashion house to go bust. [Bloomberg]
• Anna Wintour will appear on Dave Letterman's show on August 24. (Set your DVR!) In other Anna-related news (and despite recent budget cuts at Condé Nast), the Vogue editrix will be making the trip to London Fashion Week. More

Spotted | Mischa Barton heading into an Equinox with a friend ... Ed Westwick talking on his cell phone ... Kanye West hanging out with a friend outside the Jamba Juice in SoHo ... Linda Evangelista walking downtown with a bottle of water in hand ...  Justin Long and Drew Barrymore playing football in Central Park ... Allison Janney shopping with her mom in Midtown ... Tyra Banks on location at the Ziegfeld Theatre for Gossip Girl ... Hilary Duff crossing the street with a bodyguard ... Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler riding in a convertible while filming a scene for The Bounty ...  Bruce Willis crossing the street on the set of A Couple of Dicks in Brooklyn ... and Whitney Port sunbathing in Central Park.

• The September 2009 issue of Vogue looks nothing like the issue from 2007, the making of which is detailed in R.J. Cutler's new period picture, The September Issue. Take a sec to let the image of the 840-page behemoth from two years ago—the largest issue ever—burn itself into your memory. Given the way things are going, you may not see anything like it ever again. [NYT]More