Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

How Not to Find a Job in Finance | Hunting for a job in finance? Allow recent college grad Jeffrey Chiang to show you a few things you should try to avoid doing at all costs. First off, if you're going to lie to a prospective employer and say you've already received an offer from another firm, they then ask for some proof of this offer, and you decide to go ahead and forge an email, try your very best to spell the name of the company correctly. (Although "Bank of Ameria" does have a exotic ring to it, we must admit.) And if a bank offers to fly you into town for an interview, do not insist to the travel agent making the arrangements that you have to stay at the Four Seasons. It's not 2004! [Dealbreaker]

Wall Street CEOs make a fortune, as you're undoubtedly aware. Even the chief executives of banks that have been bailed-out by Washington or have gone bust usually end up doing nicely. But despite the riches and perks these men have accumulated and massive egos they've developed along the way, few of them would do all that well in a beauty contest. Because it's high time that Wall Street take advantage of the miracle of modern science—and because we care, dammit—we took the liberty of contacting Dr. Anthony Youn, a board-certified plastic surgeon who has made appearances on Dr. 90210 and the Rachael Ray Show, to ask him what procedures he'd suggest these titans of finance consider if they want to look their very best. Dr. Youn's answers and cost estimates—and our commentary—is below.More

All Those Business Books, Recapped | Perhaps you've noticed that there are about 48 books about the financial crisis that have magically appeared on bookstore shelves in the last few weeks? (And there are a bunch more to come, don't you worry.) Naturally, you can't possibly be expected to read all of them. (Let's face it. You'll be lucky if you make it through any of them, especially since several of the tomes clock in at 500 pages or more.) Fortunately, Moe Tkacik has summed them all up in a tidy 2,200 words, which means you might just sound like you know what you're talking about the next time the financial meltdown comes up in conversation. [Daily Intel]

Insider Trading Scandal Rolls On | The biggest insider trading scandal to hit Wall Street in years may be about to get even bigger. Bloomberg reports that as many as 10 more people could be charged in connection with the case as early as next week. More

Bank of America Loses (And Gains!) | It's not all bad news for Bank of America today. Sure, the financial giant announced a $1 billion loss for the third quarter following heavy losses in its mortgage and credit card divisions. But it made some of it back within hours. Property records filed with the city today indicate the bank sold off its corporate apartment in the Time Warner Center for $7.2 million, and it purchased the place for $6.35 million three years ago. So if you're a Bank of America shareholder and it makes you feel any better, feel free to adjust the loss downward to 999,150,000. [NYT, NYO]

Another Hedgie Goes Down | Raj Rajaratnam, the founder of the $7 billion hedge fund Galleon Group, the 551st richest man in the world according to Forbes, and America's one and only Sri Lankan billionaire, has been arrested and charged for taking part in a $20 million insider-trading scheme. [NYT, WSJ]

Ken Lewis Comes Up Empty | Ken Lewis, the outgoing CEO of Bank of America, won't be collecting a salary or bonus for 2009, according to the Wall Street Journal. Why? Because the Treasury Department's pay czar, Ken Feinberg, demanded it and the bank conceded rather than put up a fight. Don't shed any tears for Lewis: His retirement package is still worth between $69.3 million and $120 million. But there's reason to believe Citigroup chief executive Vikram Pandit is quaking in his Ferragamo loafers this evening:More

Goldman Sachs announced third-quarter earnings today and, as expected, Lloyd Blankfein has good reason to smile. The firm raked in $3.1 billion in profits, which was three times what the bank made during the same period in 2008. And Goldman bonuses will set a new record when they're doled out in a few months: A whopping $5.25 billion was set aside this quarter alone to pay for them. (As several people predicted, the firm also announced it was putting a big chuck of money—$200 million—into its foundation this quarter in what appears to be an attempt to counter negative press over the big bonuses.) But travel a few miles north from Goldman HQ to the offices of Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit and the mood isn't as cheery. More

Dow closes above 10,000 for 1st time in a year [AP]
U.S. Stocks Rally as Dow Hits 10,000 for First Time in Year [Bloomberg]

Bruce Wasserstein: 1947-2009 | Legendary investment banker Bruce Wasserstein has died, the New York Times and Wall Street Journal are now reporting. The chairman and CEO of Lazard—and the owner of New York magazine—was just 61. [NYT, WSJ]

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon shared some delightful news this morning. As expected, the bank posted super-solid earnings for the third quarter, generating $3.6 billion in profit based on $26.6 billion in revenue, results that were considerably higher than what Wall Street analysts were expecting. The House of Dimon also revealed that it's set aside $8.79 billion for compensation and benefits for the first nine months of 2009, just about enough to pay out $353,834 to each JPMorgan Chase employee. But don't think that's a good thing. It isn't! Because Goldman Sachs set aside $386,429 per employee for the first half of the year, and will likely put JPMorgan to shame when it reports earnings tomorrow. If you were thinking this world was unjust because millions of Americans don't have decent health insurance and a billion children around the world live below the poverty line, do yourself a favor and head over to JPMorgan HQ on Park Avenue later this afternoon and observe the people streaming out of the building. That, friends, is the true face of misery. [WSJ, Bloomberg]

Hedge Fund Formation For Dummies | Having some difficulty landing a job? Maybe you should consider starting your very own hedge fund! Contrary to conventional wisdom, it's a pretty good time to get started. And Business Insider has assembled a step-by-step guide to make the process that much easier. Just be sure to pick an appropriate name for your new fund—try to avoid words or historical events ("Ground Zero," "Auschwitz") that might conjure up negative thoughts, if at all possible—and you'll be good to go. [Business Insider]

We've said it before and we'll say it again: Mess with Jamie Dimon and you do so at your own risk. Last fall, during the bleakest moments of the financial crisis, the JPMorgan CEO began receiving threatening letters from a man who was angry about losing money a chunk of money following JPMorgan's acquisition of Washington Mutual. The anonymous letter-writer didn't just threaten to kill Dimon and promise to "McVeigh" the bank's New York office building. He also included a bit of white powder in one of the envelopes, which set off an anthrax scare at JPMorgan HQ. Duff McDonald recounts the episode in his new book on Dimon, Last Man Standing: The Ascent of Jamie Dimon and JPMorgan Chase:More

Goldman Sachs Wins Again | Despite the drama of the past few months (and Matt Taibbi's best efforts), Goldman Sachs' reputation doesn't appear to have been damaged much—at least as far as job seekers are concerned. According to Vault.com—and for the 11th year in a row—Goldman was named the most prestigious banking firm to work for. [Crain's]

The Have and the Have-Nots | Executives at Wall Street firms that did not receive bailout funds from Washington (or have since paid it back) seem to be expecting to do fine this year: According to a poll by eFinancialCareers.com, "more than a third of Wall Street finance professionals surveyed expect their bonuses to increase for 2009." Those who work at Citigroup or Bank of America won't be as lucky, clearly. In what the Wall Street Journal describes as the most "intrusive" move into corporate compensation (but which others might just call "pretty reasonable"), pay czar Ken Feinberg revealed today plans to "clamp down on compensation at firms receiving large sums of government aid by cutting annual cash salaries" and shifting a chunk of it into company stock. [WSJ, Bloomberg]