Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

Dr. Clarke To the Rescue | Did you know the Department of Health and Human Services is holding a competition to see who can come up with the best public service announcement about swine flu? It is! And a New York doctor has been picked as one of the top 10 finalists. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the lyrical dexterity of Dr. John Clarke, who spends his days working as the medical director of the Long Island Railroad. This guy is going places! [YouTube] 

My Plastic Surgeon Is Also My Neurologist | You now have a fabulous new excuse to offer up the next time one of your annoying friends gives you a hard time about all the money you've been spending on Botox injections and facelifts. It isn't because you're vain or anything. It's because you're looking for a cure for your migraines and you just want to God-awful pain to stop. Who could argue with that? [NYT]

Catching Up With Dr. Z | New York's most famous subway dermatologist, Dr. Jonathan Zizmor, took some time to chat with Gothamist today. And he was asked the question that has undoubtedly been on your mind for years now: Why does the photo of him make it seem as if he hasn't aged a day over the past quarter-century? Zizmor says he hasn't updated the photo in 25 years because "it's hard to do transparency, the color always comes out wrong." We have no idea what that means either, but points to Billy Parker for giving it a shot. [Gothamist]

Plastic Surgeons Will Rise Above (Or Below) the Recession | Plastic surgeons have come up with a totally novel plan to keep the industry afloat as interest in pricey procedures wanes thanks to the recession. They're going to start operating on black people! "We know by our statistics that this is a growing group by interest in plastic surgery," explains one doc to the Times. Naturally, you can expect to see a flood of subway ads touting $99.95 Botox injections in the near future. [NYT]

What do Barbara Walters, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby, Anna Wintour, André Leon Talley, Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Naomi Campbell, Liam Neeson, Sheila Nevins, Liz Smith and Cindy Adams have in common? They all go to the same podiatric surgeon, Dr. Suzanne Levine, according to the Observer. But you probably guessed that, didn't you? Levine reports she's busy these days getting fashionista feet ready for spring with injections of Botox or Juvederm. (She also has "foot facial" that she offers for $225.) As for which one of her boldfaced patients is pictured above, you can click on the "More" for the answer, if you're interested.More

Assisted Reproduction: Now Cheaper Than Ever | A Manhattan fertility doctor named Joel Batzofin is now offering a "recession special, "test-tube babies at bargain-basement prices," according to the Daily News. Of course, if a couple can't afford a standard course of in vitro fertilization, it's unclear how they'd be able to afford one kid, much less the multiple children that often result from IVF. But it's possible that Batzofin's "recession special" guarantees octoplets, in which case it could just be the perfect cure-all for financial problems, at least if recent history is any guide. [NYDN]

As disappointing as it is when you're lying in a hospital bed, your life hanging in the balance, and the doctor who arrives to treat you barely resembles Noah Wylie or Patrick Dempsey, it's nevertheless a little disconcerting to learn that young doctors are learning how to do their jobs from shows like ER and Gray's Anatomy. Anesthesiologist Elizabeth Sinz, who is director of a "simulation center" where medical students learn how to handle emergency situations, says: "I see students all the time who show up and act like their favorite doctor on TV." More

Say hello to Dr. Robert Glatter. According to the Post, he's the emergency room doctor known around town as "the official doctor of the city's 'fashion bitches' such as Elie and Rory Tahari, Diane von Furstenberg, Devi Kroell and the cast of Gossip Girl." (We're not too familiar with HIPAA regulations, but we're pretty sure that calling your patients "fashion bitches" is a no-no.) Anyway, it seems answering Diane's late-night phone calls isn't Dr. Glatter's ultimate goal. The PR-seeking doc—he has Karine Bakhoum on retainer—recently started up a company called Dr. 911, which is providing medical services to the residents of a few ultra-luxe buildings like 40 Bond and 15 Central Park West. More

It's not clear which is the greater mystery: Why women flock to dermatologist-to-the-stars Fredric Brandt when his wildly askew aesthetic judgment is displayed on his smooth, shiny visage for all the world to see, or why the good doctor himself chooses to ignore the evidence of his own mirror to self-administer amounts of botox and fillers that, he admits, would require a payment plan were he not getting them at cost. As a journalist discovers when she spends a day at Brandt's East 34th Street clinic, these are not questions that trouble the patients—27 in a typical 10-hour day—who joyfully submit to multiple injections, lasers, and Brandt's more-is-better attitude.More

It's no longer cool being a banker—at least as far as real estate developers are concerned. While Wall Streeters might be reluctant to spend big on an apartment during this economic downtown, doctors don't seem to share their concerns—"people are always getting sick"—and so now developers and brokers are focusing their attention on physicians. A bunch of MDs aren't going to be able to save the entire Manhattan real estate market on their own, of course, especially since many of them are "quite a bit more conservative" than the young Wall Street turks who used to plunk down eight-figure sums for sprawling lofts about as quickly as they'd drop $500 on a $29 bottle of vodka at a Marquee. But newly-unemployed bankers who miss the old days needn't dispair. Just ace the MCATs, go through four years of medical school and another four years of residency, and your broker may start returning your calls again.

Phantom Pain? | Did you hear about the Manhattan doctor accused of sexual harassment who fired back against his accusers, alleging they'd "corrupted" his good name by linking him to various porn sites? A judge threw out his claim that he had an "incurable Internet disease." Maybe that's because when you Google "Arden Kaisman," nothing really raunchy comes up? [NYP]