Cityfile: New York's Most Notable and Influential

♦  Amy Poehler and husband Will Arnett became parents for the first time on Saturday when Amy gave birth to a son, Archie. [Us]
♦  Madonna is in "meltdown mode," and asked her assistant to gather all the items she received from Guy Ritchie so she can "bury them." Guy, meanwhile, has reportedly said the couple's marriage began to disintegrate when she started planning their sex life around her workout schedule. [MSNBC, Daily Mail]
♦  Jennifer Hudson is offering a $100,000 reward for the return of her nephew, who went missing on Friday when her mother and brother were fatally shot. [People, Access Hollywood]
♦  Lindsay Lohan doesn't want people thinking she's a lesbian just because she's dating a girl. [NYDN]
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♦  The Madonna-Guy Ritchie messiness continues: The biological father of Madonna's adopted son says he might be better off in his native country of Malawi, Ritchie supposedly told friends that having sex with Madge was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," Madonna has described Ritchie as a gold-digger, and the two sides aren't even close to finalizing a divorce settlement, which means this is going to continue for a long, long time. [NYDN, Mirror, NYP, SS]
♦  Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen may get married at Tavern on the Green, of all places. [P6]
♦  Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan got into a little fight aboard the Acela. [P6] More

♦  Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce wasn't a huge revelation after months of rumors. But now it turns out the couple hadn't even been on speaking terms for months, and had been communicating through their assistants. Also: Guy may lose custody of his sons if Madonna decides to leave London and settle in NYC full-time. [Us, People]
♦  The namecalling has started: Madonna called Guy "emotionally retarded" at her Boston concert on Wednesday night, and now Guy's father is calling Madonna "beastly." [The Sun, Telegraph]
♦  Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi aren't happy about the leak of their sex tape. Who's to blame? Peter is blaming Diana. Diana, meanwhile, says it couldn't have been her since she didn't even know he was taping them having sex in his Southampton office. [P6, ET]
♦  Did Tea Leoni have a fling with Billy Bob Thorton while she was still with David Duchovny? [Extra, E!]
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♦  Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have officially split, the focus is now on her relationship with Alex Rodriguez: Some say he knew that the separation announcement was coming, which is why he's been "lying low" in a five-star Beverly Hills hotel for the past few days. [Us, NYP, E!]
♦  How's Guy doing? Don't worry about him: He could walk away with as much as $250 mil. in a settlement since he and Madonna never had a prenup. [NYP]
♦  A sex tape starring Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi may be out there, although Cook's lawyers are still saying he has "no knowledge" it exists. [P6]
♦  David Duchovny and Tea Leoni have officially split up. We're as shocked as you are [E!]
♦  Raffaello Follieri didn't just swindle adults. He also tricked a 15-year-old girl by promising to get her Anne Hathaway's autograph and then never coming though. Now she's suing him. [NYDN]More

The divorce trial of the year (week? month?) between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook got underway today and the crack team at Fox News is all over it. "America's Newsroom" host Megyn Kelly fawned over Christie's svelte figure— she's "looking fan-freaking-tastic"—while her male counterpart Greg Jarrett classily referred to Diana Bianchi as a "homewrecker." We're not quite sure if "homewrecker" is exactly the term you should be using to describe a naive teenage girl lured into a relationship by her much older boss (who's also famously fond of cocaine and porn), but, hey it's Fox! It's always the woman's fault! Video after the jump. More

• Good to know that even though Madonna and Guy Ritchie's relationship is on the rocks, their spiritual lives remain intact. Madonna spent the weekend in New York and attended the Kabbalah center in Midtown on Friday and Saturday; Guy paid a visit to the center in London. [People] 
• Meanwhile, Madonna's mother-in-law says the couple has no plans to split up. She says the topic hasn't even been brought up in conversation between the couple, which seems highly unlikely. [NYDN]
• Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital this morning, after a weekend performance where she spit gum on one fan, punched another, and called Kanye West a cunt. Sounds about right. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway may have spoken with the FBI before the arrest of her ex-boyfriend Rafaello Follieri, says a friend. [NYDN]

• The messy divorce case between Peter Cook and Christie Brinkley has just gotten messier. Days after a judge ruled that the trial would be kept open, it was revealed that Cook handed over $300,000 to Diana Bianchi, the 20-year-old girl he cheated on Brinkley with, in exchange for a promise that she wouldn't sue him for sexual harassment or discuss the affair. Of course, the cash won't prevent her from speaking out in court if she's called to testify. [NYP]
• Two months in and the honeymoon is definitely over for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Nick apparently spends more time with Mariah's money than with the diva herself. Also, Mariah's assistants call him "Whipped Nick" behind his back because he never stands up for himself. [MSNBC]
• Ashley Dupre is back online. She updated her MySpace page yesterday to say she's been touched by all her supporters (although, hopefully, not literally) and listed her current mood as "thankful," with a smiley face. [NYDN]
• Don Imus is trouble yet again for racial remarks he made on the air. Predicably, Imus says he was joking; nearly everyone else thinks he wasn't. Can we please put him out to pasture already? [R&M]