If Michelle Obama could be forgiven for feeling a little competitive toward France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, especially when it comes to matters of fashion and all-round feminine allure, we think it's safe to say that this morning, Michelle will be feeling glad that her vanity, as far as we know, stops short of making sex tapes. Yes, a burglar has stolen a cache of "highly intimate" videos and photographs featuring Carla with her ex-boyfriend/baby daddy Raphaël Enthoven (who, for those who like to keep track of European affairs, she stole from his then-wife, novelist Justine Levy, whose father, philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy, is reportedly winning the heart of wealthy fashion plate Daphne Guinness away from Andre Balazs). Police in Paris are hoping to catch the thief before any images hit the web; the web, obviously, hopes the opposite.
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Crime
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in Sex Tape Scandale
Gossip
LiLo Spirals Downward, Uma Wedding this Weekend?
• Lindsay Lohan is "drowning her sorrows" over Sam Ronson in a "sea of men," including 90210's Kellan Lutz and British paparazzo Chris Jepson. She's also going out all the time again, and hit up six clubs in one evening last week. But that's probably just because she's naturally very energetic. [P6]
• In related news, LiLo tells E! that she isn't in talks to join a topless show in Las Vegas, but she'd be willing to dabble in the burlesque world for the right price. [OK!]
• Uma Thurman's rep says she and Arpad Busson did not get married in the Bahamas last weekend, although it's rumored the couple is planning a "low-key" wedding this Saturday instead. [E!, Sun]
• Daphne Guinness was supposedly overheard telling a friend that she and Andre Balazs aren't "seeing each other seriously," since she's about to move in with French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy. [P6]More
Gossip
Madonna Leans on Gwynnie, Padma the Manhunter
♦ Now that she doesn't have Guy Ritchie to boss around, Madonna is finding more time to control everyone else: She's supposedly been "begging" Gwyneth Paltrow to leave her London home so they can spend more time together in New York. She's also busy orchestrating a reunion between Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears: All three will be performing together at Madge's concert in LA tonight. [The Sun, E!]
♦ Padma Lakshmi is apparently on a "man-search" for a filthy rich boyfriend now that her flings with Ted Forstmann and Russell Simmons are over. [P6]
♦ Now that the election is over, Tina Fey says she will be officially retiring her Sarah Palin impression. [Extra]More
